i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
