I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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