If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
