You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
