I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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