feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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