guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
