i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
