Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just googled if crying burns calories
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
