is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
