would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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