the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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