At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
