no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
