I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize