She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
