My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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