im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
