What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
