I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
