Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
