dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
