Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
