totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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