I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i love accidental penises.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
