i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize