Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
