What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
