I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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