I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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