sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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