in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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