Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
