she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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