sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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