Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
