He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
