when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
