party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
