You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
