Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
