The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
