he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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