I was born with a shot glass in my hand
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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