i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
