david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
