It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
