no you cant smoke seaweed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
