my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
