Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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