they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
