I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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