Pants 0. Shit 1.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize