Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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