It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
