i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
