but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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