Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
