Cold hands, warm shart.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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