Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
