and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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