fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
