It's Friday. Sex?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
