she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
