i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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