I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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